Be the change you wish to see around!!

We all demand a change and in every sphere of life. We want our corrupt government (the one formed by us) to change. We want the ecosystem to change as it is affecting our health. We want our blind hypocrite society to change. Then we want change at the personal front too...some want their office culture to change...some want their dear one's behavior to change....and there are some who DONT want any CHANGE...well forget about such people, they are not worth discussing :)

We all know change is the only constant and the very Tao of  the nature of life. So its not a great deal if we demand change. But the big question here is what are we doing for it? How much effort our we putting to see the change.

We all want our society, our government to change. What we need to understand is that these are mere collectives or groups of individuals. Osho in his book "Freedom from oneself" explains this beautifully. We have made these collectives so big that we have forgotten the very source of their existence an "Individual - You and Me".

The change should come in an Individual to reflect the change in these so called groups. Merely cribbing about the issues and demanding change would not bring change. I happened to watch RDB yesterday once again. Loved the way the movie brings out the underlying theme "change oneself to change others"  in a very patriotic manner. This is how we connect to the change most of the time.

koi bhi desh perfect nahi hota useh perfect banana parta hai. Khud ko badlo duniya badlegi!!

Even at the personal front; we keep blaming others for their behavior and shortcomings. We keep telling others how much they need a change. Yes they may need a change for sure. But what we fail to understand is that it could be our own behavior that might be contributing to their response. So if we want to see a change in them we would also need a change. We cant expect to continue to do the same old things yet expect to get a better response from the person we are complaining about. And then keep wondering and grudging about nothing has changed.

No one is perfect. We are all thriving hard to be one. Its unreal to expect some one who is perfect from top to bottom. Instead what is important to know is the very basic of being perfect. The more perfect we become the more humble we should be towards other's imperfections. So one has to stop being a complain box complaining about others.  

Instead we should bring the change in our self to see and appreciate the change in others. Others might have already changed but due to our own weakness of unable to accept the change require at our end, we fail to see that change.

We should understand that these individuals serve as our mirrors and teach us what needs to be revealed about ourselves. Seeing what we don't like in others helps us look deeper inside ourselves for similar traits and challenges that need to be healed or changed.

For a change to be successful, 'I 'should always come first before anything else. It should be "I need to change to bring a change" and not the other way around.

So don't demand a change be the one!!

I see a devil in me and so in you!!

No knee-jerk reactions please...just chillax!!

And I shall continue...

Are you all aware of the story behind the Leonardo’s last supper painting? It is said that same person was modeled for both Jesus and Judas. He initially started with Jesus Christ and it took him years to find a perfect model for Judas. Isn’t it amazingly strange??

The good and evil have the same face. It just depends when they cross the path of each individual. The man was at his high when modeled for Jesus Christ and the same man was at his lowest when modeled for the Judas.

We all are having a battle within us. A battle between the good and the evil wolves within us. Now who wins the battle depends on which one we nourish?

There are various kinds of evils like anger, jealousy, temptation, pride, egotism, hatred, inferiority, dishonesty and many more. It is you who would have to identify the kind of evil in you.

Start Introspecting and you would know which one to fight with and how to win over it.

Let me discuss about the one which I have and infact most of us have it... Anger the devil. Something which I have no control over.

Anger as said arises at its own will, in any situation and even at the oddest times.

Did you ever let the sun go down on your anger? And has there been instances where you had looked back on situation and thought, why did I get so upset over that? I have.

The emotion of anger is neither good nor bad. It’s perfectly healthy and normal to feel angry when we’ve been mistreated or wronged.

The feeling isn't the problem—it's what we do with it that makes a difference. Anger becomes a problem when it harms us or others.

For me; at times it is like a volcano and I continue spewing my vemon untill it is out completely. I do feel relieved but even terrible for the damage it causes.And I hate myself for it.

One has to learn how to control the anger and express it appropriately.I am slowly learning the skill.

The anger management skill would definitely help us build a better relationships and lead a healthier and satisfying life.

I shall let go the anger!!

And thou shall scratch thyself and see the devil there!!

Know When To Say No

Are you afraid of hearing a ‘No’??

And what about saying a ‘No’??

An answer to both would probably be a Yes.

Somehow ‘No’ has a very cynical appeal to the very common sense of Human Beings. A ‘No’ is a very difficult answer to verbalize and at same time, to many it is a most negative response to give.

We all have been taught from our childhood days that a positive attitude - ‘can do’ is the best way to get ahead. True; optimisms is a key to success. But this should not stop us from saying ‘No’. Sometime saying ‘Yes’ can have a drastic negative impact in our lives than probably a ‘No’ could.

We don’t need to be nice to people by saying yes all the time. People tend to take us for granted and there are few who start assuming us to be a doormat. So it is important to erect a wall unapologetically, to show them we have our own commitments and they are not always in our priorities. To make them realize that we are not simply a doormat but a force to be reckoned with.

Even professionally we don’t need to say ‘Yes’ to everything and anything. Certainly not to something which requires us to pull our magic wand from no where and develop a flawless difficult task overnight. It is a wrong notion that Managers always like hearing ‘Yes’. They would respect us if we give proper reasoning for our disapproval. After all saying ‘No’ means we have an opinion or a reason. So better sell it, at least it is better than the get-er-done mentality.

And then we have the most difficult situation of saying ‘No’ to a relationship which is not working. One has put in everything one could and deep inside one knows it’s not gonna work …Yet it is difficult to say ‘No’and to end it. Fear of loss...it is…yes it is…But what we fail to understand is, one is still in fear by being in it. A fear of its working and of making a right choice… So both way its fear...and where there is fear; there is no love… So better let it go…Sometimes its better off saying goodbye than holding on to it.

And I must say; once the plunge is taken to say a ‘No’; one would be a free bird enjoying life. One would realize what and how much one has missed life by being in that mess for so long.

I guess we should have a clear idea of our priorities to help us decide when to say ‘Yes’ and most importantly when to say ‘No’

Someone rightly said, "Learning how to say no is an art form," he further explains. "The key is to make sure the person doesn't feel rejected."